2009 PGA Championship: The Course v. My Couch

The 2009 PGA Championship at Hazeltine provided my first opportunity to attend a golf major. As a matter of fact, it was the first time I went to a golf course or country club that didn't involve me playing or somebody getting married. I chose to attend for three reasons: (1) a friend I had not seen in a long time procured an extra ticket; (2) I could cross "Attend a Golf Major" off of the sports wish list; and (3) to test my theory that I would prefer watching golf from my couch rather than actually attending an event. It also helped that the tickets were for the final, Sunday round of the tourney.

It is important to note that I generally watch all of the golf majors and occasionally tune into the final rounds of the more compelling, non-major tournaments (like the previous weekend's Tiger-Paddy showdown). The comparison group for my experiment was fresh in mind as I arose and drove to meet my fellow attendee that Sunday. I "closed the office" a bit early on Thursday and Friday to watch Tiger and Paddy jump out to low scores. On Saturday, I watched as Vijay faultered, Tiger played more conservatively than Senator McCarthy, and Y.E. Yang make a charge to enter the final group. Three satisfying days of watching golf on my couch...going to the line-free bathroom at my leisure, drinking beer and eating food out of my fridge without doling out my funds, seeing Tiger, the rest of the contenders, every hole, hearing updates on other players without whipping out the AMEX I don't carry, sitting in AC, not sitting in the rain, sitting in general, and being able to fall asleep. Needless to say, the couch in my basement (and the accompanying 50" plasma) makes for nice golf viewing.

On Sunday, I met my buddy at Southdale, where we consolidated cars, parked at Canterbury, shuttled to the course, and began our day. Having a buddy to make MST3000 side-comments was a bonus over my solo-couch experience with the occasional "how can you watch golf" comment from the wife. The parking lot experience started with decent comedy as a Jaguar owner refused to park in the mud. The first tent upon entrance was the Mercedes-Benz tent, a must visit where we received a corporate discount card. Then off to the pro-shop for my PGA Championship Umbrella, a $41 brandless PGA Championship Polo, a $19 white T-Shirt with "PGA Championship" and a $2 ball marker (I dumped about $140 that day on merchendise, food and drink). We watched one group at the 1st, two groups at the 9th, briefly caught Tiger on the practice tee, left because viewers acted like teenage girls at a Jonas Bros. concert, watched Justin Leonard double-par the 17th, then found a nice spot in front of the Grandstands at 16, where we watched the final 23 groups from about 1:30 to 6:00 pm. Saw Tiger and Yang both par the hole. Saw one birdie between 46 golfers. Left immediately after the final group. Never even glimpsed over 1/2 of the holes. Just by comparison, the couch wins in a landslide. However, the day was a good one and I'm glad I attended. I enjoyed myself, the course, and the good comedy between friends (all of which if explained would require "You had to be there" at the conclusion), but the fact remains that I would have probably preferred watching from my couch.

Oh, well. Perhaps I can say I attended the only final round where Tiger choked the lead. My official recommendation: stay on your couch.